Get Serious?!?!?! by Avie Finegold

Single Jewish Male who likes movies, going out, and long walks, seeks cute Female who’s smart and funny for purposes of jewish online dating. Single Jewish Male who likes movies, going out, and long walks, seeks cute Jewish Female who’s smart and funny for purposes of Jewish online dating. While this Jewish online personals ad doesn’t really exist, it could, and you know and I know that too many people have written something quite similar to the above when it came time to writing something for Jewish online dating. So what’s wrong with this you might ask? Well it’s not terribly interesting to begin with. And even if you’re not a very interesting person to begin with (and I’m not saying that at all, you’re actually quite a fascinating character if you ask me…), its not bound to catch the interest of a prospective significant other. I guess I'm just frustrated with people who claim that they don’t get anywhere with Jewish online dating , when they can’t seem to write anything that is remotely standout and exciting. If you're serious about meeting someone online you need to be able to capture who you are in a few words that will be shot through the ether to all points interested.When it comes to Jewish online dating, there is no meeting place like a bar where you can chat with someone for a while and see what their deal is. You have a couple hundred words or so to get down into text who you are and what you're into (and most people don’t even go so far as to write something at all).

Let’s look at the above example and see what the deal is with it: “…likes movies, going out, and long walks…” Well la-dee-da! All that tells me is you're not an inanimate brick. C’mon, really, try and think of the essence of yourself, you know, what makes you REALLY you; do you think Ben & Jerry’s are two major food groups? Is the guy who invented C++ your hero? Do you think Jay-Z is a pompous poseur? Write it down! Think of the things that you are really passionate about, what makes you really you, and try and put that up on the screen. It’ll make you stand out from the crowd, and better yet anyone that actually contacts you will most likely be much closer to you than someone who says, “ooh! Hot pic! I need to send her a message!”

Now onto the second half “…seeks cute Female who’s smart and funny….” Great, I got you completely wrong, here I though you were looking for someone dull, ugly and who won’t laugh at your jokes. Thanks for setting me straight. (For those of you not funny or intelligent enough to appreciate the sarcasm in the previous statement, please ignore the following because you guys deserve each other). Let’s face it, most of us have a certain basic minimum that we’re looking for in a partner, lets call it the CFI (cute funny and intelligent DUH!). Now I want you to do something REALLY daring. Ok you ready? No, really, are you ready? This is something very farfetched so don’t say I didn’t warn you. Ok here we go, go further than that. Think about what YOU want as an individual and write that down. “What are you talking about O great provider of relationship wisdom?” I can hear you from the other side of your screens. Well, first of all don’t call me that (ok maybe just once more), but think about it. Are you willing to settle for any CFI person that comes your way? I don’t think so. So think about what else he needs to make it in your book and write THAT down. Does he need to be passionate about music or home repair? Does he need to ignore Dilbert on a daily basis? How about defining what you intend your relationship to be like? Do you want someone who can go out to Buona Snotty with you twice a week, or are you interested in deep conversations that will fuse your souls together in lifelong unity? Get that down somewhere also. Trust me on this one, Ms. Grad student in humanistic studies will not appreciate being used as something to hang off your elbow on the weekends.

Anyway, if you’ve gotten this far I hope I have made some sort of sense and made you think about how you relate to your relationship seeking. Think beyond the cliches of dating ads like sensitive and easygoing, and try and capture the originality of you. You’ll be a better person for it, and so will be the person who responds to your clever words.

More coming soon…

Send me feedback! avie@kosher.com